September 2001/Spank Menace Grows. No New Information./et - Revision history

Lazlow: Created page with "September 2001/SPANKi oht kasvab. Pole uut informatsiooni"

2025-02-08T08:16:54Z

Created page with "September 2001/SPANKi oht kasvab. Pole uut informatsiooni"

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:16, 8 February 2025
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	\|desc=Uus narkomaania epideemia, SPANK, on vallutanud Liberty City tänavad ning seda süüdistatakse kuritegevuse plahvatuslikus kasvus kogu linnas. See on juba ammu teada. Kuid mida politsei ja teised riigiametid siiani ei tea, on see, kust SPANK täpselt pärineb. Ja kui olla aus, siis nad ei tea seda siiani. Aga nad toovad esile teooria "kohe kui võimalik."		\|desc=Uus narkomaania epideemia, SPANK, on vallutanud Liberty City tänavad ning seda süüdistatakse kuritegevuse plahvatuslikus kasvus kogu linnas. See on juba ammu teada. Kuid mida politsei ja teised riigiametid siiani ei tea, on see, kust SPANK täpselt pärineb. Ja kui olla aus, siis nad ei tea seda siiani. Aga nad toovad esile teooria "kohe kui võimalik."

	~~<div lang=~~"en" ~~dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">~~		SPANKi mõju meie kogukonnale on võimatu täpselt hinnata, kuid politsei on kindel, et see on vastutav "väga paljude kuritegude" eest. Üks asi on selge – SPANKi harjumus on kallis, suhteliselt võttes. "Summa, mille keskmine SPANKi tarvitaja lühikese ajaga maha laristab, võiks toita neljaliikmelist perekonda kaks kuud. Nad topivad seda kõrva, ninna või, kui tegu on eriti hullunud kasutajatega, siis sinna, kuhu päike ei paista, sest suposiidid on SPANKi sõltlaste seas väga populaarsed," ütles murelik õpetaja. "Minu palga juures ei saaks ma endale SPANKi lubada. Aga see ongi karjääri valimise tulemus avalikus teenistuses. Samas saan kolm kuud puhkust ja magan öösel rahulikult, teades, et teen õiget asja." Meie haridusallikas, kes palus jääda anonüümseks, kuid on siiski Shoreside'i keskkooli füüsikaosakonna juhataja, pidas seejärel pika loengu haridussüsteemi korruptsioonist, alarahastusest ja demonstreeris paar trikki Van der Graafi generaatoriga, enne kui lahkusime ja lahkasime selle pimekohtingu maha kui üsna masendava kogemuse.
	~~Quite what the impact of SPANK~~ on ~~our community has been is impossible to gauge~~, ~~but police are certain it is responsible "for a lot of crime~~." ~~One thing is clear~~, ~~a SPANK habit is expensive~~, ~~relatively speaking~~. ~~"You could feed a family of four for two months with the money your average SPANK user is blowing in a short time~~, ~~shoving it down their ears and up their noses~~, ~~or where the sun doesn't shine in suppository form~~, ~~popular amongst the more addled SPANK heads~~," ~~said a concerned teacher~~. "~~On my salary, I couldn't afford to do SPANK~~. ~~But that's what a career in public service does for you~~. ~~Still~~, ~~I do get 3 month holidays~~, ~~and I sleep easy at night, knowing I'm doing the right thing~~." ~~Our educational source~~, ~~who chose to remain anonymous~~, ~~but who is head of physics at~~ Shoreside ~~High School~~, ~~then lectured on corruption in education~~, ~~under-funding and a few little tricks with a~~ Van ~~Der Graaf Generator~~, ~~before we left her and wrote this blind date off as a pretty depressing experience~~.
	~~</div>~~

	~~<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">~~		SPANKi tarvitamine on arvatavasti laialt levinud noorte hulgas ning vastutab paljude surmade ja vigastuste eest. Tüüpilised SPANKi kasutajad kannatavad raskete vaimsete luulude all, sealhulgas Vegetoosi – seisund, kus sõltlane usub, et ei suuda enam kunagi liha süüa – ja teise keerulisema nimega haiguse all, mis kõlas äärmiselt murettekitavalt. Võimud on veendunud, et kuigi SPANK on täielikult sünteetiline aine, on selle levitamine seotud Kolumbia narkojõukudega, kes on Liberty Citys juba pikka aega tegutsenud. Kuid selle oletuse toetuseks puuduvad konkreetsed tõendid. Või vähemalt, nad ei jaganud neid meiega – isegi siis, kui me neile ohtralt jooke välja tegime ja ähvardasime nende naistele näidata fotosid, kus nad väljuvad kahtlase mainega asutustest.
	~~SPANK usage is thought to be rife amongst the young and is responsible for untold deaths and injuries~~. ~~Common amongst SPANK users are serious mental delusions~~, ~~including Vegetosis~~, ~~when addicts who have gone too far believe they can never eat meat again and another condition with a long name that sounded very worrying~~. ~~Authorities are convinced that~~ SPANK ~~distribution~~, ~~although SPANK is a completely synthetic substance~~, ~~is connected to Colombian drugs gangs who have long operated in the~~ Liberty ~~City area~~. ~~They don't, however, have any evidence to support this supposition~~. ~~Or at least~~, ~~they weren't telling us~~, ~~even when we bought them a lot of drinks~~, ~~and threatened to show their wives photos of them leaving places of ill repute~~.
	~~</div>~~
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Lazlow: Created page with "6. september 2001, kell 21:10"

2025-02-08T07:34:55Z

Created page with "6. september 2001, kell 21:10"

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:34, 8 February 2025
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	\|imagedesc=		\|imagedesc=
	\|article=		\|article=
	\|desc=~~<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">~~		\|desc=Uus narkomaania epideemia, SPANK, on vallutanud Liberty City tänavad ning seda süüdistatakse kuritegevuse plahvatuslikus kasvus kogu linnas. See on juba ammu teada. Kuid mida politsei ja teised riigiametid siiani ei tea, on see, kust SPANK täpselt pärineb. Ja kui olla aus, siis nad ei tea seda siiani. Aga nad toovad esile teooria "kohe kui võimalik."
	~~The new street menace~~, SPANK, ~~is running riot in~~ Liberty City~~, and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area~~. ~~That much is well known~~. ~~What police and other government agencies interested in that sort of thing had no idea about was where the~~ SPANK ~~was coming from~~. ~~And~~, ~~we've got to be honest, they still don't know. But they're coming up with a theory~~. "~~As soon as we can~~."
	~~</div>~~

	<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">		<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">

Lazlow: Created page with "center
{{news |featured= |headline=SPANKi oht kasvab.
Pole uut informatsiooni. |title2= |lt=yes |published=6. september 2001, kell 21:10 |author=E. Crume |image= |imagel=yes |imagew= |imagefloat= |imagedesc= |article= |desc=
The new street menace, SPANK, is running riot in Liberty City, and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area. That much..."

2025-02-08T07:33:15Z

Created page with "center <hr> <languages/> {{news |featured= |headline=SPANKi oht kasvab.<br>Pole uut informatsiooni. |title2= |lt=yes |published=6. september 2001, kell 21:10 |author=E. Crume |image= |imagel=yes |imagew= |imagefloat= |imagedesc= |article= |desc=<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr"> The new street menace, SPANK, is running riot in Liberty City, and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area. That much..."

New page

[[File:ltbanner_sep.gif|center]]

<hr>

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{{news
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|headline=SPANKi oht kasvab.<br>Pole uut informatsiooni.
|title2=
|lt=yes
|published=6. september 2001, kell 21:10
|author=E. Crume
|image=
|imagel=yes
|imagew=
|imagefloat=
|imagedesc=
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|desc=<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">
The new street menace, SPANK, is running riot in Liberty City, and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area. That much is well known. What police and other government agencies interested in that sort of thing had no idea about was where the SPANK was coming from. And, we've got to be honest, they still don't know. But they're coming up with a theory. "As soon as we can."
</div>

<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">
Quite what the impact of SPANK on our community has been is impossible to gauge, but police are certain it is responsible "for a lot of crime." One thing is clear, a SPANK habit is expensive, relatively speaking. "You could feed a family of four for two months with the money your average SPANK user is blowing in a short time, shoving it down their ears and up their noses, or where the sun doesn't shine in suppository form, popular amongst the more addled SPANK heads," said a concerned teacher. "On my salary, I couldn't afford to do SPANK. But that's what a career in public service does for you. Still, I do get 3 month holidays, and I sleep easy at night, knowing I'm doing the right thing." Our educational source, who chose to remain anonymous, but who is head of physics at Shoreside High School, then lectured on corruption in education, under-funding and a few little tricks with a Van Der Graaf Generator, before we left her and wrote this blind date off as a pretty depressing experience.
</div>

<div lang="en" dir="ltr" class="mw-content-ltr">
SPANK usage is thought to be rife amongst the young and is responsible for untold deaths and injuries. Common amongst SPANK users are serious mental delusions, including Vegetosis, when addicts who have gone too far believe they can never eat meat again and another condition with a long name that sounded very worrying. Authorities are convinced that SPANK distribution, although SPANK is a completely synthetic substance, is connected to Colombian drugs gangs who have long operated in the Liberty City area. They don't, however, have any evidence to support this supposition. Or at least, they weren't telling us, even when we bought them a lot of drinks, and threatened to show their wives photos of them leaving places of ill repute.
</div>
|more=
|return=yes
}}

<hr>

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