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HEADLINES | CLASSIFIED | SPORTS | FORUM | BUSINESS | ENTERTAINMENT
Vol. 1, Issue 4
The News Organ of Liberty City
Tuesday May 1st, 2001
" Masticating The Truth In Four Honest Stomachs "
May 2001: Difference between revisions
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|desc=Mayor O'Donovan. Is he a mayor or a nail gun? Sounds stupid, I know, but not in Liberty City. The Mayor's brother is CEO of Donovan Hardware, makers of the aforementioned nail gun and he hasn't been shy about getting his brother to endorse his "revolutionary new way of knocking nails into wood". | |desc=Mayor O'Donovan. Is he a mayor or a nail gun? Sounds stupid, I know, but not in Liberty City. The Mayor's brother is CEO of Donovan Hardware, makers of the aforementioned nail gun and he hasn't been shy about getting his brother to endorse his "revolutionary new way of knocking nails into wood". | ||
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Revision as of 19:50, 3 February 2025
Gangs Rife on our City Streets, Corruption Everywhere
By Walt Karl, Liberty Tree News Bureau
May 1st 2001 4:59pm EST
The Liberty City Police Department has conducted a survey into the roles gangs play in our city's violent crime problem. The results were staggering. For a long time, social commentators had argued that problems were caused by a lack of services for the mentally ill and deranged, along with the lure of easy money to be made in petty street crime.
Mackerel Factory to Expand
Liberty Tree News Bureau
May 1st 2001 3:14pm EST
LIBERTY CITY (RS) - Kristen Burns
Cheung Industries of Shanghai announced that they were to expand the factory production of mackerel in the Liberty City area. Cheung Industries is well known for the creation of what has been derisorily called "artificial" Mackerel, a tasty, fishy meal made from the bones and skeletons of any animal matter. The factory will bring thousands of jobs to Liberty City, and make it a world leader in artificial fish.
Mayor O'Donovan Denies Misuse of Government Funds Over Nail Gun Fiasco
Liberty Tree News Bureau
May 1st 2001 1:14pm EST
LIBERTY CITY (RS) - Joel Stahlman
Mayor O'Donovan. Is he a mayor or a nail gun? Sounds stupid, I know, but not in Liberty City. The Mayor's brother is CEO of Donovan Hardware, makers of the aforementioned nail gun and he hasn't been shy about getting his brother to endorse his "revolutionary new way of knocking nails into wood".
EDITORIAL
Advertising Good for America
by Jeffrey Veselik, Liberty Tree Associate Editor
Do you like our new format? We've included much more adverts, and far fewer stories. Why? Because we're an American newspaper. A lot of people claimed that when The Liberty Tree lost its much over-valued independence and got consumed by Love Media last week, that it would lead inexorably to a decline in standards. Well, I have two things to say to the doubters.
"The Powers of the Fugue, A Mystery Uncovered"
Entertainment and the Arts by Morgan Merryweather
Welcome back to my Memoires Entertainments, as they say in gay Paris. Have you ever been to Paris? It's magnificent. A place for the senses and the mind. Last time I was there, I met a charming Arab boy called Hossan who led me a merry dance, a waltz, or a cha cha, I can't remember, but it was marvelous. Anyway, I digress. This week in Liberty City, we've got a banquet of emotion in the arts.
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