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Vol. 1, Issue 9
The News Organ of Liberty City
Thursday October 18th, 2001
" Yesterday's News Today "
All translations
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Found 2 translations.
| Name | Current message text |
|---|---|
| h English (en) | Quite what the impact of SPANK on our community has been is impossible to gauge, but police are certain it is responsible "for a lot of crime." One thing is clear, a SPANK habit is expensive, relatively speaking. "You could feed a family of four for two months with the money your average SPANK user is blowing in a short time, shoving it down their ears and up their noses, or where the sun doesn't shine in suppository form, popular amongst the more addled SPANK heads," said a concerned teacher. "On my salary, I couldn't afford to do SPANK. But that's what a career in public service does for you. Still, I do get 3 month holidays, and I sleep easy at night, knowing I'm doing the right thing." Our educational source, who chose to remain anonymous, but who is head of physics at Shoreside High School, then lectured on corruption in education, under-funding and a few little tricks with a Van Der Graaf Generator, before we left her and wrote this blind date off as a pretty depressing experience. |
| h Estonian (et) | SPANKi mõju meie kogukonnale on võimatu täpselt hinnata, kuid politsei on kindel, et see on vastutav "väga paljude kuritegude" eest. Üks asi on selge – SPANKi harjumus on kallis, suhteliselt võttes. "Summa, mille keskmine SPANKi tarvitaja lühikese ajaga maha laristab, võiks toita neljaliikmelist perekonda kaks kuud. Nad topivad seda kõrva, ninna või, kui tegu on eriti hullunud kasutajatega, siis sinna, kuhu päike ei paista, sest suposiidid on SPANKi sõltlaste seas väga populaarsed," ütles murelik õpetaja. "Minu palga juures ei saaks ma endale SPANKi lubada. Aga see ongi karjääri valimise tulemus avalikus teenistuses. Samas saan kolm kuud puhkust ja magan öösel rahulikult, teades, et teen õiget asja." Meie haridusallikas, kes palus jääda anonüümseks, kuid on siiski Shoreside'i keskkooli füüsikaosakonna juhataja, pidas seejärel pika loengu haridussüsteemi korruptsioonist, alarahastusest ja demonstreeris paar trikki Van der Graafi generaatoriga, enne kui lahkusime ja lahkasime selle pimekohtingu maha kui üsna masendava kogemuse. |
