Translations:October 2001/DOG BAN UPHELD/3/en

If there's one thing you'll never see fouling the streets of Liberty City, it's a dog. City council has voted overwhelmingly to uphold the ban on dog ownership in our city. Not for us, the yuppies scraping up its designer-poodle's-less-than-designer-doings with his hand covered only in a plastic bag. Nor for us, the small baby, clamped by the neck in the jaws of an angry rotweiller who only wanted to play. Nor even the seeing eye dog who runs amok dragging a sightless person under a bus or off a cliff. These, and other canine horrors - eating, urinating, ritualistic sex acts and tail wagging - haven't been seen in our town for nearly five years now, and Council agrees the ban has really improved the quality of life for people in Liberty City.