Translations:October 2001/Elderly Asian Man Held After Failing to Satisfy Immigration/6/en

As we reported, he turned up on a private plane from an unknown departure point somewhere in east Asia, without any of the necessary documentation, having neither a passport, nor a visa, nor a platinum credit card to bribe his way through customs. He has refused to claim asylum, or ask for refugee status, and speaks only three words of English, repeatedly to all questions -- "Love and Death." The man is not believed to be a Woody Allen fan, and the problem has baffled some of our finest government minds. As a result, the man is being transported to a high security penitentiary before being deported later in the month.